Category Archives: business kaspern

By accident or rather evolution and genetic diversification, self awareness happened to be tried out. What perfected it was a layer of several interconnected neural networks linked with a couple of sensors and interesting algorithms.


Consultants can _do_ everything with powerpoint *slides*. Most of those​ douchebag monkeyass newbies in life and the universe could also prepare another set of freaking powerpoint slides for me on the topic: how can human kind achieve the much needed same respect for every form of life, i.e. women, men, transgenders, animals, artificial intelligence, aliens, the environment (not only the planet Earth but yeah right the whole effing universe and all the parallel universes). (1)

#writing #thoughts #businesspunkmag-germany-mighthavelikeditbutiguesstheyrenotonello(yet?)

(1) btw this respect includes equal pay for all genders but explicitly excludes gender neutral writing in German (Schüler*innen)


Epic battle
In the end it all boils down to the same two fucking questions​: who got bigger balls and whose dick is longer.
In other, more consultant-and-gender-neutral words: we need to understand our market position and compare our lever with the one of our negotiation partner.

Good or bad. Your choice.
In serendipity we trust.

My take on Iran

Because of my job I had the opportunity to go to Tehran. The first time from Saturday to Tuesday and the second time from Monday til Wednesday.

Of course I had the usual impression that you get when you grew up or lived in a western country for a longer time:

  • Iran is not called Islamic republic of Iran for no reason: there is a religious leader who influences politics and regulations for daily live and law
  • Due to the relation to the US and the aggressive foreign policy especially under Ahmadinejad you get a very dark and frightful picture of the country: they want to erase Israel from the map and all American citizens are evil enemies.

Similar like on my trip to Pakistan, I had the chance to get a first hand impression.

First of all: there is a huge – extraordinary huge – discrepancy between the government + the religious leaders and the daily life of the people. Two examples:

  1. Alcohol is forbidden in Iran and recently students have been sentenced to 79 whips because they had some booze when celebrating their graduation. And of course there is a delivery service for alcohol. They come to your home, open the trunk and then you chose. Whaaaat?!
  1. Facebook is blocked (funnily only on wired internet connections, – some? – mobile internet connections don’t block it.). Same applies for the heavily censored tv channels – ever watched or only listened to a football game on an Iranian tv channel? There is barely any sound from the crowd in the stadium. So everyone gets western tv from satellites. Smells a little like the former GDR, right?

Now what I experienced during my visits: all (!) people that I have met are extremely friendly, open and have a very liberal mindset. Strangers on the street approach you and ask where you are from what you are doing in Tehran etc (and no, they are not from the Stasi).

I even participated at a “party”. The conversation went like this:

Hey you wanna join a party tomorrow? Drinks and shisha.



Next day.

Well it’s not a real party, only a gathering of friends.


Well and the location is a little strange. It’s at a nursery.


Yeah, a friend of us is the owner and she invited some friends, we totally understand if you don’t want to join.

Sounds strange but I’d still love to join 🙂

… And yes, the nursery was full of children 😀

Some more quick facts:

  • Tehran has around 20 million people
  • It spans from 900m above sea level up to around 1,700m – and the mountains next to it go even up to 3,500m – skiing hooray!
  • It is a very green city, i.e. there are many trees, some parks etc. Still the smog can be quite bad, I guess mainly due to the extremely old cars.
  • Motorbike taxis are cool, cheap, roller coaster-like adrenalin levels are complementary.
  • Food is very good, fresh, mostly local and cheap!

Last but not least: don’t go to Iran. Honestly. Watch this video to see what you are not missing.

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Ok so here’s my take on Pakistan. Based on vast experience watching Homeland and a 2 day business casper trip to Karachi.

Based on Homeland and the usual media coverage, you would expect that whole Pakistan is a simply a huge war zone – a failed state. Ah and then again you have all the drones in the sky all the time destroying hospitals, schools and sometimes even a valid target.

After hearing stories from colleagues who actually went to Pakistan on a business trip (you will sit in a tank, a security guard with a gun next to you), I was not concerned about security so much but rather about a more or less acceptable hotel.

Before my trip, I did some research about Karachi and the latest news about Pakistan and found

Still my employer has several offices there and my colleagues somehow make a living there.

The first big thing to notice after my arrival was the car. It wasn’t a ‘tank’, it was ‘only’ a regular looking, allegedly class-6 armored lexus. And the security guy – where I thought about all those ex-mercenaries, ex-special forces, … – was a random guy from the street with a security uniform and a shotgun. Ok. If someone wanted to do bad to me, they could.

Then all went pretty well – the colleagues were even nicer than on the phone / video conferences, the food was good and hey: since you’re only allowed to travel the streets during daylight hours, you have to leave the office latest at 5pm 🙂 The hotel was also more than ok – it was clean, they had good food (and yes, I actually tried mutton brain – it was yummy!!) and there was even a ‘cigar lounge’ which turned out to be a place where you can get some drinks (if you can call a Korean beer with ‘world famous hop from Germany’ a drink).

Only one time I was a little concerned about security. On the 2nd day on the way from the hotel to the office, our car was making some loud noise and then we had a flat tire. In an armored car. Ok, the driver assured me it wasn’t a flat tire but a ‘worn out stud’ but whatever that means: as a matter of fact, we could not continue our drive in the armored car and we had to change from an armored car to a ‘soft skin’ car where even the seat belts didn’t work. Heyho, at least some adventure.

All in all I always felt safe and would love to explore Pakistan a lot more. If only I could activate godmode somehow…

IMG_20151007_181306171 IMG_20151007_160259053 IMG_20151007_160009276 IMG_20151007_100007568 IMG_20151007_202250218 IMG_20151007_200720768

Omani Taxi Drivers

Okay so here’s my story on taxi drivers in Muscat, Oman.

After arriving, I had to pay upfront at a counter. Fair enough – at least they can’t rip you off that easily.

Second day, I got into a random taxi on the street and the guy brought me back to the hotel. He explained a lot about Oman and that he likes to tell people about it. Cool. Then I asked him for a personal recommendation for a seafood place. At the end we agreed that he would pick me up a couple of ours later at the hotel and take me to a restaurant.

Couple of hours later he picked me up at another location and drove me to the restaurant 30mins away. He went with me into the restaurant and made sure I’m not ripped off. He sat with me at my table until the food arrived and then went to wait in the car. He took me to my hotel and it was only 16 OMR.

After work I had a guy pick me up at 7pm. I asked him to stop by a mall where I needed to withdraw some cash and buy a couple of things. All in all the drive + shopping + ATM was around 1.5 hrs. 8 OMR.

This morning a guy picked me up at the hotel and drove me to work. He didn’t have enough change but I told him I need to go to the airport anyways. OK then I did not pay but instead paid everything after he dropped me off at the airport in the afternoon.

Summary: Muscat has the best taxi drivers that I’ve come across so far. Only one thing to improve: please put meters in your taxi. Replying with ‘how much you want to give’ when asking how much it was – sucks. Really.