The talk

I recently came across this and thought I’d share it…

“Hi Pastor”
“Hello Mr. …”
„Smith”
“Hello Mr Smith. You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yea. I wanted to speak with someone who knows life. And death. Do you know life and death Pastor?”
“I don’t know it. But I came in touch with it due to my profession. Do you know life and death?”
“So far my experience with life and death is limited. My grandpa passed away. One of my grannies. A friend from school. And most of the married couples around me have children. I recently became an uncle.”
“So you have experience.”
“A little.”
“But what did you wanna talk to me about?”
“The usual question. Why am I here and what sense does all this make.”
“But I assume you know why you are here. I mean in this clinic.”
“Yes, I do. At least I think I do.”
“Good. Go on.”
“Very early in life someone told me that everyone has their own reality. If you walk – do you move or does the world move around you? Like the holo deck in Star Trek. Or any of those new sophisticated Virtual Reality environments.”
“Ok..?”
“When I first got internet I also found that in a couple of trillion years, earth will be blown away when the sun collapses. In consequence, all sustainability, all ‘save this rare species of animals’, all is crap.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Well, unless we come up with some space ship Noah’s ark, we’re fucked.”
“But that will all be way beyond our time here on earth.”
“True. But still.”
“Do you believe in god?”
“No. Do you?”
“Well, of course I believe. Everyone needs to believe in something. Even if it’s nothing. Since we don’t know. Do you believe in something Mr. Smith?“
„Yes. Pizza. Beer. Cigarettes.“
„Anything else?“
„Well I try to be a good person. And I try to be nice to most of the people around me all the time. But sometimes I lose it.“
„What happens then?“
„Then I drink too much and tell people things I usually don’t want to tell them.“
„Like what?“
„Depends. I tell good looking women that I wanna sleep with them. I tell good friends all of this crap we talked about.“
„And what happens after you tell them?“
„Well most of the times they don’t want to sleep with me – tough luck for me. But it doesn’t matter.“
„And your friends?“
„They try to convince me otherwise.“
„… but they don’t succeed, do they?“
„Nah… not really.“
„But why did you wanna speak with me then?“
„I’m bored. And I smoke to much. So I figured I will try talking to you. Thank you for your time.“
„Thanks Mr. Smith. And take care.“
„You too, pastor – thank you.”

Indulge in Munich

When you miss Dubai or just want to have a great day and don’t mind spending some €, check out this plan:
Book yourself a room in the Hilton Munich City, close to Rosenheimer Platz which offers good value for money and has good access to public transport.
You can start off your day with a nice breakfast, e.g. at The Victorian House at Viktualienmarkt or go for a proper brunch at one of the 5 star hotels in Munich (e.g. Jazz Brunch at the Bayrischer Hof which is “only” 49€ but not including alcoholic beverages except for 1 aperitif).
After strolling around the city center and the Isar river you might want to relax a little. Again there are different options: a spa of one of the 5 star hotels (day pass is 60€ – Mon-Fri, 75€ on weekends/public holidays, at the spa of Kempinski Vier Jahreszeiten) or you can opt for a public swimming pool – and not those boring swim-only ugly ones. Take the Müllersches Volksbad which has a spectacular Jugendstil architecture and offers not only swimming but also sauna and a massage facility (appointments must be scheduled upfront). One hour classical massage is 55€, 4 hours sauna 18,90€).
In case you want to skip the spa, you can go for the perfect apéro for pre-dinner drinks: the rooftop bar of the Mandarin Oriental. There’s a pool, you can sip a nice glass of white wine and just relax.
All relaxed and ready for the evening, you can chose from various high class restaurants:
  • Rue des Halles – a French brasserie which has a great seafood selection
  • Tantris. Most famous restaurant of Munich – booking required
  • Neni München – exceptional interior. middle eastern restaurant and bar close to central station
What follows after dinner depends on your personal preference… Some options:
  • enjoy a classical concert at Gasteig, e.g. the Munich Philharmonic Orchestra
  • go clubbing at Harry Klein – the best techno night club in Munich. Was earlier close to Ostbahnhof but they moved to the city center some years back
  • listen to some jazz tunes at Unterfahrt
The most important thing which you cannot omit: the Feierabendbier. Suggested locations: Flaschenöffner bar at Fraunhoferstrasse or the Kiosk at the Reichenbachbrücke.

By accident or rather evolution and genetic diversification, self awareness happened to be tried out. What perfected it was a layer of several interconnected neural networks linked with a couple of sensors and interesting algorithms.

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Consultants can _do_ everything with powerpoint *slides*. Most of those​ douchebag monkeyass newbies in life and the universe could also prepare another set of freaking powerpoint slides for me on the topic: how can human kind achieve the much needed same respect for every form of life, i.e. women, men, transgenders, animals, artificial intelligence, aliens, the environment (not only the planet Earth but yeah right the whole effing universe and all the parallel universes). (1)

#writing #thoughts #businesspunkmag-germany-mighthavelikeditbutiguesstheyrenotonello(yet?)

(1) btw this respect includes equal pay for all genders but explicitly excludes gender neutral writing in German (Schüler*innen)

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Epic battle
In the end it all boils down to the same two fucking questions​: who got bigger balls and whose dick is longer.
In other, more consultant-and-gender-neutral words: we need to understand our market position and compare our lever with the one of our negotiation partner.

Good or bad. Your choice.
In serendipity we trust.

Steak pie and not-really-mushy peas

Did some cooking after a looooong time… Perfect winter dish for me and reminds me of Scotland: steak pie

Inspirational video from Jamie Oliver, some internet research and some given spices and cheese leftovers got me to this variant.

  1. 2 onions
  2. 300 g rump steak
  3. 4 carrots
  4. 200 g mushrooms
  5. 330ml guiness
  6. 1 tblsp Tomato paste
  7. 2 tblsp Flour
  8. Ready made puff pastry
  9. Spices: long pepper, black pepper, salt, Worcester sauce, chili
  10. Peas: lemon cest, lemon juice, salt&pepper, fine cut mint, butter

Unknown ex expat

A lot has happened. I’m no more an unknown expat but an unknown ex expat. I moved back to Germany and my life changed a lot: almost no more parties or weekly catch-ups, a freezing climate and a new job.

Here’s a short recap and what happened since the last post:

– visited Libanon one more time and enjoyed amazing food, good parties and relaxing times at the pool and the beach

Continue reading Unknown ex expat