Category Archives: thoughts

The talk

I recently came across this and thought I’d share it…

“Hi Pastor”
“Hello Mr. …”
„Smith”
“Hello Mr Smith. You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yea. I wanted to speak with someone who knows life. And death. Do you know life and death Pastor?”
“I don’t know it. But I came in touch with it due to my profession. Do you know life and death?”
“So far my experience with life and death is limited. My grandpa passed away. One of my grannies. A friend from school. And most of the married couples around me have children. I recently became an uncle.”
“So you have experience.”
“A little.”
“But what did you wanna talk to me about?”
“The usual question. Why am I here and what sense does all this make.”
“But I assume you know why you are here. I mean in this clinic.”
“Yes, I do. At least I think I do.”
“Good. Go on.”
“Very early in life someone told me that everyone has their own reality. If you walk – do you move or does the world move around you? Like the holo deck in Star Trek. Or any of those new sophisticated Virtual Reality environments.”
“Ok..?”
“When I first got internet I also found that in a couple of trillion years, earth will be blown away when the sun collapses. In consequence, all sustainability, all ‘save this rare species of animals’, all is crap.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Well, unless we come up with some space ship Noah’s ark, we’re fucked.”
“But that will all be way beyond our time here on earth.”
“True. But still.”
“Do you believe in god?”
“No. Do you?”
“Well, of course I believe. Everyone needs to believe in something. Even if it’s nothing. Since we don’t know. Do you believe in something Mr. Smith?“
„Yes. Pizza. Beer. Cigarettes.“
„Anything else?“
„Well I try to be a good person. And I try to be nice to most of the people around me all the time. But sometimes I lose it.“
„What happens then?“
„Then I drink too much and tell people things I usually don’t want to tell them.“
„Like what?“
„Depends. I tell good looking women that I wanna sleep with them. I tell good friends all of this crap we talked about.“
„And what happens after you tell them?“
„Well most of the times they don’t want to sleep with me – tough luck for me. But it doesn’t matter.“
„And your friends?“
„They try to convince me otherwise.“
„… but they don’t succeed, do they?“
„Nah… not really.“
„But why did you wanna speak with me then?“
„I’m bored. And I smoke to much. So I figured I will try talking to you. Thank you for your time.“
„Thanks Mr. Smith. And take care.“
„You too, pastor – thank you.”

By accident or rather evolution and genetic diversification, self awareness happened to be tried out. What perfected it was a layer of several interconnected neural networks linked with a couple of sensors and interesting algorithms.

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Consultants can _do_ everything with powerpoint *slides*. Most of those​ douchebag monkeyass newbies in life and the universe could also prepare another set of freaking powerpoint slides for me on the topic: how can human kind achieve the much needed same respect for every form of life, i.e. women, men, transgenders, animals, artificial intelligence, aliens, the environment (not only the planet Earth but yeah right the whole effing universe and all the parallel universes). (1)

#writing #thoughts #businesspunkmag-germany-mighthavelikeditbutiguesstheyrenotonello(yet?)

(1) btw this respect includes equal pay for all genders but explicitly excludes gender neutral writing in German (Schüler*innen)

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Epic battle
In the end it all boils down to the same two fucking questions​: who got bigger balls and whose dick is longer.
In other, more consultant-and-gender-neutral words: we need to understand our market position and compare our lever with the one of our negotiation partner.

Good or bad. Your choice.
In serendipity we trust.